Burn
by lostsoul512
Summary: Donnie Darko before Donnie Darko. Alyssa Hamilton is a runaway who finds herself both trapped in a tangent universe and falling head over heels in love. Can she save the world and those she loves in just 13 days? My first story; please r&r!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Donnie Darko or anything related, no matter how much I wish I did.

A/N: "I accidently burned down a house once…" Donnie tells Gretchen Ross. However, little about his past is ever truly explained. This is the story of Donnie Darko before Donnie Darko.

-August 12, 1987-

My name is Alyssa Hamilton, and I have seen the future.

I can only hope that what I have foreseen proves be false. I can only hope that there is a way for me to change it.

I don't have long.

The sun broke over the horizon, and I breathed a sigh as the world was set aglow. Another morning and I hadn't the slightest idea as to where I was.

It had been almost three days since I'd run away from home. Three days since the last time I'd had the shit beaten out of me for merely existing.

I'm not going to say that my life is any harder than the average person because I don't want to sound like one of those pathetic self-pitying people. Maybe my parents were abusive. Maybe I'd spent the last ten years forced to see a shrink and the last four forced to choke down a Ritalin every night, but it wasn't that bad.

You may be asking, why then, did I run away?

Because of the dreams. Every night they grew worse and worse. I was plagued by them, images of death, destruction, terror. I couldn't escape it. Not even the medicine made them better.

I rose from where I was sitting upon the side of the road and starting walking in the opposite direction from which I'd come the night before. The road before me stretched on for miles, all those miles waiting for me, calling out with adventure.

As far as walking goes, as soon as I get where I'm going (wherever that may be) I don't think I'll ever do it again. I'd hitch a ride of take a bus, but the only money I had I'd spent the first day on some food. Now I just scrounged up what I could.

When I was little, I used to imagine that I'd been adopted, and that I was secretly a fairy princess or something. I called myself Princess Arialana, and I was absolutely certain that someday a prince was going to come and sweep me away and take me back to his palace under the clouds.

The closest I ever came to this fantasy was the first time I took acid. It was a halfway decent trip, or so I was told, not that I had anything to compare it to. I was flying high, higher than the clouds, touching the sky. Golden waves of sunlight were streaming through my hair and for the first time in my life I could just breathe without someone else choking me.

I guess a part of me was hoping that maybe now I would find my way to that kingdom.

"Hey? Are you going somewhere?"

I spun around to see a black Dodge Daytona idling on the side of the road. My gray eyes travelled over the length of the car and finally landed on the driver.

She couldn't have been much older than my fifteen years- maybe seventeen or so, with curly brown hair and big brown eyes. Certainly she didn't look like a kidnapper rapist.

"Yeah, sure," I replied, going around to the other side to get in. "I'm Alyssa."

She flashed a wide smile. "Elizabeth. Where are you going?" she added, pulling away and beginning to drive.

"Undetermined," I muttered.

Elizabeth laughed a little, reaching over to turn up the radio. Duran Duran flooded the car. "Okay. I can take you to my house. You must be starving." Elizabeth looked almost embarrassed at her generosity, like maybe I didn't want her pity.

I tried to let her know how much it meant. "Thank you," I said, because I didn't know what else to say.

Aside from the music, the ride was mostly silent. Elizabeth seemed nice, but not very talkative. It worked in my favor since I was neither.

It seemed like hours, but then we were easing the car into a long driveway in front of a huge house. I don't think I'd ever been to a big house before.

"Well, here it is," Elizabeth said. "Home sweet home."

I smiled a little. "where are we, anyway?"

Elizabeth rolled her eyes in my direction. "Most people call it Middlesex, Virginia. Me? I call it hell."

I followed Elizabeth into the house, straight into the living room. "Hello? I'm home!" She shouted before dropping down onto the couch. I stood in the arch nervously.

"You can sit down," she told me.

"Actually, uh, could I use a bathroom?"

"Oh. Sure." Elizabeth gave me directions and I followed them up the stairs.

The bathroom door was closed. I raised my hand to knock, but just as my fist was about to collide with the door, it burst open, and a warm hand took hold of my wrist.

Looking up, my eyes locked with a pair of deep blue ones. My eyes travelled down his body and back up to his face, part of which was covered by the gray hood of his sweatshirt.

"hello," he murmured. A shiver ran up my spine.

"Um, hi."Oh, really great start to a conversation. I cleared my throat a little and tried to summon the courage of the girl who had run away from home. "You must be Elizabeth's brother."

He offered a tiny smile. "yeah. My name's Donnie. Donnie Darko."

"Alyssa Hamilton."

We stood there for what seemed like hours, just staring into each other's eyes. And I found myself getting lost.

I'd never been in love before. I found it hard to even believe that love existed, to tell the truth. Maybe it was because my parents had ruined it for me. Maybe I was destined to be one of those old cat ladies that never gets married and never has sex.

I shuddered.

All of a sudden, Donnie stepped aside, breaking the trace. The magic fell around us, but I could still feel traces of it moving through the air, tantalizing me. My mouth was practically salivating.

"Sorry to block your way, Alyssa," he murmured. My name fell from his lips like honey, like the sweetest lullaby whispered between lovers late at night. Oh, this guy was good.

"Not a problem," I mumbled.

I couldn't say the same about myself.

I stood there a few minutes longer, watched him retreat into the last room at the end of the hall, glancing around nervously before he closed the door behind him. I frowned. Paranoia, maybe?

Once I was secure in the bathroom, separated from the rest of the world by a heavy wooden door, I allowed a few tears to fall.

I'm not a crier, just for the record. I don't see the point. I roll with the punches, take things as they come.

Honestly, I didn't even know what I was crying about now. Here I was in a good home with some seemingly decent people, and I couldn't even be appreciative.

Wiping my face on the back of my hand, I tried to force a feeble smile. I looked like hell; that was for sure. Maybe Elizabeth would let me take a shower before I went on my merry way.

With one last glance at the pitiful girl in the mirror, and then I turned out the lights.

"So what did you say your name was?" Mrs. Darko asked for about the third time. I smiled broadly as I reached for my third helping of Au Gratin potatoes. Food had never tasted so good in my life.

"Alyssa Hamilton. I'm from the Virginia Beach area," I said between huge bites.

Mrs. Darko smiled warmly. Well, I'm terribly sorry about your house burning down."

Yes, I'd lied. But the Darkos seemed like the kind of people who wouldn't take pity on a poor little runaway.

Mr. Darko added, "You can stay here as long as you need before you continue on to your grandmother's. And when you leave, we'll give you some money."

This time my smile was real.

"Well, I think she's pretty"

We all turned our gazes on Samantha. She was the youngest of them, a mere nine years old. But her smile was enough to light up a room- and make you forget how annoying I'd already discovered she could get.

"Well, thank you, Samantha," I replied.

Samantha turned to face Donnie. I'd been carefully avoiding his gaze the entire length of the meal, lest the magic reform and I get lost all over again. Still, I was sure that Elizabeth had noticed by now. And probably everyone else too.

"Donnie, don't you think Alyssa is pretty?" She asked, her wide eyes shining with innocence.

Donnie glanced over at me, and for a moment, our gazes met. Something burned just beyond the surface, something magical, and almost dangerous. I quickly looked down in embarrassment, but I could still feel his eyes on me, burning holes through my skin, straight through to my soul. With Donnie's eyes on me I felt raw and exposed.

"Yes. I do."

They gave me an extra bed to sleep in, the one in their guest room. I thanked them repeatedly and asked Mrs. Darko for permission to use the shower. She laughed and told me to help myself to anything I wanted. I scolded myself for wondering if that included her son.

The hot water felt good, dripping down my body, easing some of the tension there. I closed my eyes and let the scorching droplets cascade down me, breathing in the steam. Already I felt myself relax. The stress of the past three days fell away.

I knew that my parents weren't looking for me. They couldn't have cared less about me. Hell, maybe they were celebrating.

But it didn't really bother me. I was finally free! No more smothering rules or adults constantly telling me I wasn't good enough. I was on my way to bigger, better things. And just maybe I would find my castle in the clouds along the way.

"Wake up."

My eyelids fluttered open and a faint light flooded my eyes. The clock on the bedside table read 2:49 a.m.

"Come closer."

Slowly, I rose from the queen-sized bed and started towards the door, following the soothing voice.

On and on I walked, down the stairs, out the front door, down the sidewalk. I didn't know where I was; I didn't know where I was going. All I knew was that I couldn't stop. I had to reach that voice. I had to make it stop.

I don't really know how long or far I walked. Out here in the cool night air, time seemed to have a mind of its own, going however fast or slow it desired. The constricting laws of the clock no longer applied when the sun went down.

But some time later, I found myself standing in front of an old, abandoned-looking house. The windows had long ago been boarded up and the lawn had long since gone wild. I shivered, whether from the slight breeze or the eerie-ness of the house I wasn't sure.

"Come closer," the voice urged again. I won't hurt you."

I didn't need to be told twice. My feet led me up to the creaky porch, and I reached out to turn the handle.

The door opened loudly, and a sudden flash of light reached my eyes. I threw an arm up and squinted, looking for the source.

She was standing a few feet away, her hands folded gracefully in front of her like I always imagined. She wore a gown of the finest purples and reds, and her long brown curls cascaded down her back. She wasn't smiling, but she looked beautiful nonetheless.

The fairy queen, I was sure.

"What do you want with me?" I shouted into the blinding light, thankful that my voice didn't quaver with the fear I was feeling within.

There was a pause, and when she spoke, it was like a wind-chime made of ice being rattled.

"Thirteen days, three hours, seventeen minutes, and nine seconds. That is when the world will end."


	2. Chapter 2

-August 13, 1987- thirteen days remain-

I woke up the next morning around nine. Wiping the sleep from my eyes I dragged myself out of the bed.

It would have been a great night of sleep if it wasn't for the nightmares. Except that this one had been different. This one had seemed so, so real. I could still see the white light behind my eyes.

I could barely remember it now. Most of It had faded away, just like every night. Maybe it was better that way.

I finger-brushed my hair, relishing how clean it felt. It was hard to believe it had only been three days. It had seemed like an eternity had passed since I'd left my house. And now here I was.

After running my hands through my hair once more, I pulled my hands away.

And let out a scream.

My forearm and wrist were covered in dried blood, nearly black tendrils that twisted down my arm and fingers. The gaping wound looked only hours old. A quick glance at my other hand confirmed that I had obviously scratched it in myself with my broken, sharpened nails.

Breathe, I reminded myself. Breathe. This wasn't that big of a deal.

As my senses returned it slowly dawned on me that there was… something written in there. I squinted my eyes to make out the message.

13, 3, 17, 9.

That was what it read.

Great. I had a bunch of meaningless numbers to work with. 13, 3, 17, 9. What did that even mean?

Whatever. I could figure it out later. For now I needed a way to hide it before one of the Darkos saw it. The last thing I needed was one of them thinking I was clinically insane. There were already taking enough pity on me, letting me stay in their house and all without even considering that I could be an axe-murdering madman.

Maybe I was. Insane, I mean. I was most definitely not an axe-murdering manman. After all, I had been on Ritalin for the last four years, thanks to my shrink. She was convinced I had ADD. Truthfully I just didn't like to listen.

Anyway, I stepped out into the hall and glanced around before scurrying to the bathroom. Hopefully they had a lot of band-aids.

I was almost there, just around the corner so of course it figured that when I turned I turned right into none other than Donnie Darko himself.

He put his hands on my waist to steady me, and, forgetting myself for a moment, I gasped a little.

Donnie looked down at me. A small smile crept onto his lips. "Don't be scared," he whispered.

I wanted to tell him that I wasn't, that fear was the furthest thing from my mind (at least when it came to him) but I couldn't find my voice. Instead I just shook my head.

Donnie moved his fingers gently up my sides until they were just below my bra. I tried to stay perfectly still, tried not to let him show how much his mere touch was affecting me.

In a split second, Donnie had jumped away as though I was a poisonous snake. "I'm sorry," he blurted. "It's just… I'm just… never mind."

Swallowing hard, I hesitantly stepped towards him. "It's okay," I murmured.

But the moment was over, the shattered fragments crashing to the ground around us. Donnie gave me a tiny half-smile and turned to walk away.

I took a chance. "uh… do you have a sweatshirt I could borrow?"

Donnie turned around and nodded. "Yeah. Follow Me."

Donnie led me into his bedroom, and I stood nervously in the doorway as he went into his closet. I glanced around to take in the scenery of the small room. Scattered drawings hung around the walls.

"You draw?" I asked him when he came back out, holding a plain black sweatshirt. He shrugged a little as he handed it to me.

"A little," he replied. The tone of his voice indicated that he didn't want to keep this conversation up.

"Well, thanks, I guess," I muttered, quickly shoving my arms into the sleeves. The soft material stung against the cuts. I'd have to remember to clean it out later. The last thing I needed was a massive infection. It was already going to be noticeable that I was wearing a hoodie in August.

Donnie didn't reply or make any notion of moving. I sighed, turned, and left.

I found my way downstairs to the living room, where Elizabeth was sitting on the couch. The news was playing on the t.v. screen.

"What do you think?" Elizabeth asked me. "Bush or Dukakis?"

I frowned. Politics really weren't my thing. "I dunno. Bush, I guess. Dukakis is just so…" I didn't know how to finish that sentence.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Damn conservatives. I'll be voting for Dukakis myself, if he makes it that far." Cracking a grin, she added, "nice sweatshirt, by the way."

I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. "Oh. Um. Yeah."

Elizabeth laughed a little. "hey, it's no big deal." Then she lowered her voice immensely. "You like him, don't you?" maybe I was imagining it, but there seemed to be a slightly protective tone to her voice.

The pitiful little runaway wasn't good enough for her brother.

I tried to act nonchalant. "I don't even know him."

Elizabeth waved the tiny matter away. "So? You still like him. You want him, Don't you?"

"Shh!" I demanded. "You're not gonna say anything, are you?"

Elizabeth's smile was stunning, that of a regal, first-class liar. My mother had had one as well. "Of course not." Not unless it had any personal gain for her. I knew how the world worked.

We turned our attention back to the television.

"…In more local news, an unexplainable fire broke out last night, completely destroying a house."

The screen changed to show images of the house they were talking about, and I felt my heart speed up. Although it was barely recognizable, I knew without a doubt it was the abandoned one from my dream the previous night. Scenes came rushing back to me as I stared at the t.v. the girl, her eerie voice, and the words she had spoke to me.

Thirteen days, three hours, seventeen minutes, and nine seconds.

That was when the world would end.

I was trembling now. I tried to get it under control. The reporter went on.

"Firefighters say that the house was abandoned and that no human remains were found. Police have not ruled out arson as the start of the fire. The arsonist would be facing fines of up to three thousand dollars and possibly some jail time. I'm Jessie baker, reporting live."

Elizabeth reached for the remote and flipped the channel over to MTV. "Jesus," she mumbled under her breath. "Why would somebody want to burn down an old house anyway?"

"Maybe there was a body in there," I joked. "Maybe they were trying to kill someone."

Elizabeth and I exchanged a glance and then burst out into laughter at how ridiculous it was.

Still, it was sort of creepy that the house I'd dreamt of the night before had burned to the ground. And what about the woman? What about her words? Was the end of the world truly just around the corner?

And what was I supposed to do about it? How could I stop it?

Well, I had thirteen days to figure it out.


	3. Chapter 3

-August 15, 1987- eleven days remain-

The way I see it, Heaven's not a place you go when you die. It's a moment in your life when you actually feel alive.

With the Darkos, everything was so different. Time itself seemed to cease to exist. I'd only been with them for two days, but I felt like I'd known them forever.

Mr. and Mrs. Darko were the best parents I could have imagined. Not only did they give their children a pretty free range, but they were also loving and caring. As for the kids, Elizabeth proved in just two short days to be the greatest friend I could have imagined, despite our two-year age difference. She was everything I wished to be at her age- sophisticated and classy while still capable of having fun and being completely immature. Samantha was like the little sister I'd never had, adorable and annoying. I already felt myself growing protective of her.

And Donnie Darko, with his dark eyes and pale skin and mysterious aura. Well, I was quite sure I may have been falling in love with him.

We were going out to dinner that night, Mr. Darko's way of celebrating that summer was coming to a close. In just three short weeks, the Darko children would be back in school.

And what of me? Did I really expect the Darkos to adopt me? I couldn't deny that the fantasy had crossed my mind. But I knew the reality of it. They would give me some money and send me on my way. I could hardly bear to think o it.

The restaurant was called Leo's Steakhouse. Elizabeth pulled me into her room so that I could get ready with her. I fingered her expansive collection of makeup, tempted to put some on. I'd never been one for makeup before. But then again, it was never too late to start.

"You're going to need something to wear," Elizabeth noted from somewhere inside her enormous walk-in closet.

I myself was perched on the stool of her vanity, staring at the girl in the mirror. Her light brown hair was hanging in loose, natural curls around her pallid face, her green eyes too wide, to dark underneath from endless nights of tormented sleep.

Elizabeth appeared behind me in the reflection, offering a broad smile. "When I'm through with you, Donnie won't know what hit him."

"Oh. My. God."

I spun around and stared with shocked eyes at my reflection in the full-length mirror. I hardly even recognized myself.

My face seemed to be glowing, my green eyes piercing. Elizabeth had put my curls up in seemingly random disarray around my face. The dress she'd given me came to my knees in folds of soft purple silk, accentuating the curves of my body.

"Wow," I breathed. I didn't think I'd ever looked so beautiful.

Only one thing threw it all off. The numbers carved into my wrist had barely even begun to scab over. Elizabeth had surprisingly stayed calm when I'd pulled off Donnie's sweatshirt and revealed them. Mostly she'd turned her head and pretended not to notice, no questions asked. The past was the past, she said. She didn't care. It didn't matter.

Still, she gave me a pair of sleek black gloves that reached my elbows and covered it all nicely. At least she was prepared for anything.

Elizabeth herself wore a tight-fitting blood-red gown that was the perfect combination of classy and sexy. Her glossy brown hair was also pulled back, though a few choice strands hung about her face.

I practically beamed at her.

She returned the smile. "Shall we?"

I let out a nervous giggle. "let's go."

Dinner was quite possibly the greatest thing I'd ever had in my entire life. The salad itself would have been enough to feed an entire third world country. After that it was an eight ounce steak, garlic mashed potatoes, steamed asparagus, and chocolate mousse for desert.

When we got back to the house, I politely asked if I could remain outside for a bit. It was a gorgeous night, stars littered across the expansive black skies. Mrs. Darko gave me the okay and the family shuffled inside.

I took a seat right on the step of their porch, my green eyes searching the sky. For what? Hope, maybe. Faith in a brighter tomorrow. For a better life, out there waiting for me.

I heard the door open softly, and chanced a sidelong glance at who had come to join me in all the splendors the night had to offer.

Mere seconds later, Donnie sat down beside me. "hey," I said nervously.

Donnie's lips curled up slightly at the edges but still he said nothing. Maybe he wasn't very talkative. Maybe there was nothing to say. Maybe he was enjoying the silence, relishing in the enchantment of the stars and the skies and, just maybe, the presence of me. Or so I liked to believe.

I sighed. I, on the other hand, loathed it.

"Donnie," I began, turning to face him. But not another word escaped my lips, for at that moment, Donnie reached up to cup my face in his and pressed his mouth to mine.

The kiss was soft and gentle and everything I'd ever thought it would be. His lips worked against my softly, never demanding or forceful. I slid my hands behind his head, entangling them in his hair. He slipped his own arms around my waist pulling my angled body closer to him.

HE broke away after planting one more kiss upon my lips, and we sat there with our foreheads touching ever so slightly. I struggled to regain my breathing, unable to contain the wide smile that had broken out across my face.

"I'd been meaning to do that," Donnie whispered against my lips.

I leaned my head into his shoulder, closed my eyes, and smiled. For the first in my life I thought, I _never want this moment to end_.


	4. Chapter 4

-August 16, 1987-ten days remain-

"Wake up."

My eyes flew open and I sat up in alarm as the voice threw me from my sleep. Of course. The one night I was actually capable of finding enough peace of mind to even get to sleep, someone had to go and wake me up.

Elizabeth sat on the edge of my bed, perched there, wearing a sunny smile, black skinny jeans and a pink off-the-shoulder shirt. As usual, her clothes were that of up-to-the-minute fashion. She already had her black and white converse on.

"Wake up," she repeated. "We're going shopping. I got my parent's permission to go over to Williamsburg for the day."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and shoved back the celery green comforter. "I don't have any money," I pointed out. Elizabeth shot me an 'are you serious' look.

"Don't worry about it," she assured me. "My dad gave me his credit card."

It was an hour drive from Middlesex to James City; we were planning to hit up the Williamsburg outlet there. Elizabeth kept the stereo up loud, singing along as she sped down the highway.

We reached the mall, and Elizabeth eased her Daytona into the nearest parking spot she could find.

I'd only ever been shopping once in my life. My mom had taken me to buy some longer-sleeved clothes after a particularly vicious beating from my dad, lest the neighbors see the scrapes and bruises lining my skin.

Shopping with Elizabeth was how I'd always imagined it would feel to have friends. See, back there I'd never really been very social. Less friends equaled less questions about why I wasn't allowed to do anything like the other kids, or why I wouldn't wear any skin-reveling clothes.

Still, I'd had my dreams, and Elizabeth had proved to meet them all.

She bought me practically an entire new wardrobe consisting of all the latest fashion- although I'd gotten a bit of input.

The big ticket item was the dress that Elizabeth had found. It was black, with a wide purple sash around the waist and hanging off to the side a bit. Like the dress I'd borrowed the night before, it too came to just above my knees. Needless to say, it looked stunning on. I caught myself wondering what Donnie would think of it, then shook the thoughts away.

We got back to the house and I carried my things up to my room. I laid them all out across the bed and just stared at them. A few stray tears fell from my eyes. I wiped them away quickly and turned around.

The Darkos were the most wonderful people I had ever met. I would've stayed with them forever if I could have. But I knew that that was impossible. Eventually I was going to have to leave them. In my heart I knew that sooner was better than later.

The sky was a breath-taking shade of orange and pink. Clouds hung low, almost low enough to touch them. I stepped out of the shadows, towards the source of the light, of all the light.

"What do you want with me?" I asked her unsurely.

The fairy queen didn't smile, didn't give me any sign of comfort. Her eyes were like black ice, like endless vortexes leading me down to my death.

"Have you ever seen a portal?" She asked me. Her voice sent shivers up my spine. I shook my head slowly, my eyes never leaving hers.

"There are only nine days left," she said to me. "You have to save the world."

"How?" I replied desperately. "How can _I_ save the world? I don't even know how to save myself."

"You will," she assured me. I sighed deeply. Maybe I had no idea what the hell she was talking about. Maybe I didn't want to save the world. And, just maybe, I was taking these dreams way too seriously.

But in my heart, deep inside, I was nagged with the feeling that these were more than mere illusions of my sub-conscious. That this was reality and that it was up to me to keep this world intact.

"Okay," I whispered. "Okay."

-August 19, 1987- Seven days remain-

It was noon by the time I rolled out of bed that day. I'd had a hell of a time sleeping the night before, not to mention I'd been hanging out with Elizabeth and Donnie all day the day before.

Donnie and I had barely spoken since our intimate little moment on the porch three days previous. To say that it was eating me alive would have been the understatement of the century.

I sauntered down the hall to the bathroom and started the water for a shower. Slowly and groggily I stripped out of my pajamas. For several minutes I stared at the girl reflected in the full-length mirror.

I was barely fifteen but could have passed for sixteen with ease. It was in the curve of my hips and the way my shadowed eyes screamed out experience. I had walked through hell, and it showed.

I pushed a hand through my scraggly brown hair and climbed into the shower.

When I emerged twenty blissful minutes later, it was in a refreshed state. My hair now hung in wet strands among my scrubbed-clean face. I reached for a towel and began to pat myself dry.

I slid into some clothes- a new pair of jeans and a black v-neck tee with a silver and green butterfly coming up the side. I ran a brush through my hair a few times, but didn't bother to style it.

I emerged from the bathroom and headed down the hall towards my room. I passed Donnie's room; as was standard, the door was closed. I found myself pausing, wondering if he could feel my presence through the door.

I reached out and wrapped my fingers around the handle. It was cool in my hand. So many thoughts rushed through my head, but I toned them all out. There was little point in sitting on the sidelines, waiting for someone to put the game into play. I had to make the first move myself.

I twisted the handle and opened the door. Donnie's eyes flew to the doorway where I stood, traveled up and down my body and then finally landed back on my own eyes.

"Hey," he merely said.

I felt my chest heaving with each and every breath I took. This was it, the only chance I would have. In a week I'd been gone, I'd probably never see him again. I had to make the most of the time I had left.

I didn't speak for fear that my voice would give out, but in three quick strides I was standing directly beside his bed, looking down into his blue eyes. They reminded me of the ocean; I could have drowned in them just as easily.

I swallowed hard. Thought about running out. All the while Donnie was staring up at me, mixed emotions playing out across his face.

"Donnie," I whispered, hating how my voice quaked. Hating how broken I sounded.

Donnie reached up to take my hand. An electric jolt ran through me as he laced his fingers into mine. A second later I was being pulled down onto his bed.

I fought to regain my balance, sitting up. Less than a foot separated us. Donnie reached out to finger a strand of my hair, which was still dripping wet.

In one easy motion, he moved his hand behind my neck. "I am going to kiss you," he murmured in a low voice. My breathing faltered.

And then he did. He pulled my face to his and our lips collided, his mouth moving feverantly against mine. I pushed my body as close to his as I possibly could, sending us falling backwards onto his bed.

Donnie rolled me over with ease so that he was lying on top of me. Our tongues brushed and I moaned, arching my back against his chest.

Eventually he broke away- much too soon in my opinion- but made no motion of getting off of me.

A contented sigh escaped my lips. "Donnie Darko, I think I may be in love with you.'

The words poured out of my mouth before I paused to think about the consequences. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest I was positive that he could feel it right through me.

For what seemed like an eternity I lay there, unmoving, waiting for something, anything to happen.

And when it did, it was the most unexpected, the most beautiful thing that had ever happened in my life. A smile came over his face as he lowered it to kiss me once more- just a gentle peck, barely even touching my lips.

"Alyssa Hamilton, I know I am in love with you."

We descended the stairs hand in hand, not caring who saw us or what they thought. At least I knew I wasn't. I was lost in bliss. At long last, I was sure, I had found my prince and my castle in the clouds.


	5. Chapter 5

-August 20, 1987-six days remain-

After that, Donnie and I became inseparable. We spent every waking moment together. I wanted to know everything about him, every tiny detail of his life.

Elizabeth figured it out soon enough- though of course it was blatantly obvious when she walked into my room unannounced and found me pressed against a wall with Donnie's mouth working furiously against my own. Needless to say she'd given me a ton of shit about it and she would probably tease me about it for the remainder of my stay.

But I didn't care. I was in love. I wanted to spend every moment with Donnie. I never wanted to let him go.

"Alyssa," he murmured later that day. iT was nearing dusk and we were sitting on the front step once against, watching the streaks of gold and rose and lavender all flow together as the sun fought to stay above the horizon. I was wrapped up in his arms, my head ducked into his shoulder and his resting atop mine.

"Your house didn't really burn down, did it?"

The question caught me off guard. Nobody had brought up my past since I'd arrived here so many days before. Eve I had found the Alyssa I'd been before drifting away as my new life with the Darkos consumed me.

"No," I whispered hoarsely. I thought I felt a few tears drip down my cheeks. I swallowed hard in attempt to fight them off.

Donnie reached up to grasp my chin in his hand and turned my face towards his. "Don't cry," he said quietly, brushing his thumb across my cheek to wipe the tears away."Please don't cry."

I did my best to smile, though I was sure it came out as more of a grimace.

"I'm not crying," I lied through my tears, which were now cascading at a steady rate. It felt so wonderful to let all that emotion go, to release it all from where it had been trapped within me.

Donnie gave me a reassuring smile, kissed me on top of the head. "It's okay, Alyssa. I didn't mean to upset you. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

But the truth was that I did. I'd been ignoring it all for so long, lying to everyone- including myself. I wanted someone to talk to, someone who would listen without judging me. I was sure I had that in Donnie.

I took a long, deep breath. Donnie's eyes were patient, searching my face.

"See, the truth is… I kind of… ran away."

I immediately adverted my gaze back to the sky. The sun had, at long last, given up its fight and slipped below, allowing darkness to overcome the sky. Now the first few stars were beginning to show.

When he spoke, his words were soft and low. "how come?" he questioned. "What were you running from?"

I had never thought about it in that term before. I paused, knitting my brow as I considered.

"I guess… I guess I was running from myself," I said finally. "I was running from the nightmare my life had become because running seemed so much easier than actually doing something about it."

Donnie nodded slowly. "Running away doesn't solve anything," he replied. "Sooner or later you have to face it all."

"I think I figured that out now," I told him truthfully.

Donnie paused, then dared to ask, "What was it that was so bad?"

I pulled the side of my mouth into a half-smile. "My parents were pretty abusive." Saying it now wasn't hard, and it didn't even really bother me. I found that it was easy to leave it all behind me now.

Donnie put his arms around me again and held me tightly. "I'm sorry. I know that sounds cliché but I really am. I can't imagine why they would do that."

I shrugged. "I'm kind of over it now that I'm free, you know? It doesn't really seem that bad anymore."

Donnie nodded again, and then we slipped back into a comfortable silence. It could have been hours or seconds, I wasn't sure. We probably could have sat there forever if a moment later the door had swung shut and Elizabeth was sitting down beside us.

"Hey, guys," she greeted. "what's up?" I sensed the double meaning in her words and the slight edge to her tone. She cast a sidelong glance at Donnie and I.

"Nothing," I said too quickly. I could tell she wasn't buying it but she let it go for now.

Donnie rolled his eyes. "What are you doing out here?"

Elizabeth flashed a quick smile. "Mom and Dad sent me to check on you two," She explained.

Donnie turned towards me and gave me a quick kiss upon the lips, then to Elizabeth he said "Tell them we're just fine."

This time it was Elizabeth who rolled her eyes. "Real mature, Donnie," she muttered. "Anyway, it's not like they really care. They're just going through the motions to make themselves feel better."

The sad thing was that she was right. Eddie and Rose Darko certainly loved their children, but when it came to discipline, the kids were pretty much free to do whatever they pleased.

"So, I'll just tell them you're being angels, then," Elizabeth said with a bright smile, rising to her feet. We watched her retreat to the door, only letting out our breath when the door had closed behind her.

"We should probably go in too," I admitted. "It's getting kind of late."

Donnie laughed a little. "Scared of the dark?" he teased.

"No," I replied. _Only the dark within me_. "I'm just getting cold."

Donnie stood up, reached out his hand to pull me up as well. I took in, and he pulled me right into his arms. "I love you," he whispered into my hair. I was sure I would die right there.

"I love you too," I whispered back, tilting my head up and pressing my lips to his softly. And I knew that meant I had to let him go.


	6. Chapter 6

-August 23, 1987- Three Days remain-

The sound of an ear-piercing scream awoke me from a dead sleep. I jolted up in my bed, gasping for breath.

Not even caring that I was in complete disarray, with my hair all matted and my clothes mismatched, I got up and practically sprinted toward the sound.

I skidded to a halt in the kitchen, where Rose was standing, tears streaming down her face, clutching at the telephone. Eddie was there as well, his eyes wide, terror etched into his features. Samantha was perched atop his lap.

I wanted to ask what was wrong, to reach out and offer any sort of comfort I could. But my voice was lodged in my throat at the raw pain that filled the room.

When Donnie came up behind me a few short seconds later, putting a reassuring hand on the small of my back, I allowed myself to breathe a little. Still, the feeling of sorrow couldn't be shaken.

"What happened?" Donnie demanded, though his tone was gentle. "What's going on?"

His words brought on a whole new round of tears for his mother. Even Mr. Darko was crying now.

"It's Elizabeth," Rose choked. For the first time since I'd met her, her façade of perfection was broken, and she looked just as lost as me. "She's- she was at this party last night- and she… she fell."

Donnie's hand moved to my own, grasping it tightly. "So what does that mean?"

It was his father who answered him. "She… hit her head," he murmured.

"She isn't going to make it."

My world stopped. Maybe my heart did too; I couldn't have been sure. At that moment I couldn't process a single thought. Everything swarmed together in my mind. Only one thought stuck out.

Elizabeth was dead. Elizabeth, my best friend, my only friend, was dead.

I let out a strangled sob, collapsing into Donnie's arms. He held me to his chest tightly, stroking my hair. I knew that he was crying too.

Dead.

Oh my God.

I don't know how long we stood there. I don't know if I finally just Ran out of tears to cry, or if the logical part of my mind kicked in and reminded me that standing here crying and getting nothing accomplished wouldn't bring Elizabeth back to life.

I lifted my head, locking my pale gray-green eyes with Donnie's light blue ones. There were no words to capture what was written on his face. I couldn't even begin to fathom what he was going through.

I'd never lost anyone. Not a grandparent, not a cousin, not even a friend. So there was no way for me to put myself in his shoe shoes. I could only try to imagine what he was feeling.

"Donnie," I whispered. If he'd heard me, it didn't show. Slowly but surely he unwound his arms from my tiny body and dropped them to his side.

"I… I need to go. I need to… be alone," he mumbled.

I nodded numbly. Donnie was hurt real bad, but I hoped with every ounce of my being that he wouldn't push me away. Maybe I would understand. Or maybe it would kill me too.

I watched his retreating form as he stumbled up the steps, blinded by the tears that were still there.

I remained there leaning against the doorway long after the rest of the Darkos had shuffled out of the room.

Maybe it was time for me to go. The Darkos were going through such pain right now, I was sure I would be more of a burden than a guest. An ache ran through my heart at the thought of saying goodbye to these wonderful people I had dared to call my family.

And Donnie. My dear, sweet Donnie. What sort of unjust god would rip him away from me when I'd just now found the one who held the other half of my heart?

I knew that somehow I would have to find a way to go on without him in my life. It would be hard. It would hurt like hell. But it had to be done. And now was the time.

I wouldn't say goodbye. It would be easier that way- for both of us. But tonight was the night that I would leave. And there would be no coming back.

"What are you doing?"

I jumped, spinning around to face the speaker.

Donnie stood in the doorway of my room, his cool eyes sweeping the chaos there. I knew how it must have looked to him. Clothes strewn everywhere, total disorder. I had to take only the necessary items. The rest would have to stay behind.

I sighed. I'd been counting on him staying in his room all night. Seeing him might make me change my mind. I took a deep breath, forced the words out of my mouth. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

"What does it look like I'm doing, Donnie? I'm leaving. You didn't think I could stay here forever, did you?"

Donnie's expression hardened instantly. I felt a piece of me fall away within.

"Oh," he said coldly. "I see."

My bottom lip quavered as tears threatened to tumble out. "Donnie, please-"

But he wasn't going to listen. He cut me off with his mere glare alone.

"Go, then!" he shouted at me. "Run away. It's what you're good at, isn't it? You couldn't possibly make anything work out. You couldn't possibly consider what anybody else wants. No, it's all about you. So go ahead and leave, then. Good riddance."

My pale eyes were wide as I took in his words, worse than anything my mother had ever said, worse than any blow my father had ever dealt me. And all true. Every one of them was true. And that made it so much worse.

"Donnie," I tried again. "Donnie, please don't."

It was hopeless, I knew. I was just wasting my breath and my time trying to hold onto something that was never intended to be mine in the first place. I'd wound up here by some sick accident, some perverted twist of fate. I hoped whoever ran this gig was getting their kicks out of this mess that had fallen around me.

Donnie turned and slammed the door; the echoing bang was like a bullet to the chest, one that shattered my heart into a million irreparable pieces.


	7. Chapter 7

-August 24, 1987- Two days remain-

The clock in the hall struck midnight. I stepped out of my room, into the darkened hall. Nothing would come with me, I had decided. I needed nothing to remind me of this place. Tomorrow, perhaps, it would feel like nothing more than a dream, as though it had never even truly existed. As If I had imagined the whole thing. Just another of my weird delusions.

I was less than a foot away from the door when a pair of hands reached out of the shadows and pulled me to them. Moments later Donnie's warm lips were upon mine, kissing me furiously. I couldn't help but kiss him back. He ran his tongue over my bottom lip, and I granted him entrance.

It was over too soon, especially because I knew it would be the last time I would ever kiss him.

"Don't go," he breathed against my lips. "I'm so sorry. Just, please, I'm begging you, don't go."

"Donnie, I have to," I whispered. "I cant stay here with you. I don't belong here."

"Then neither do I, because I belong wherever you are."

I smiled at him, at the way the darkness fell over his face. "Oh, Donnie. I love you so much."

He knew my decision was final. He pulled my face to his once more.

"I have something for you," he said. His voice was heavy, filled with defeat. "Give me your wrist."

I did so, putting out my left arm and watching as he reached down into his pocket. A moment later he was pulling out… something. Something that shone in the pale moonlight seeping through the windows. When I felt the cool press of metal to my bare skin, I gasped a little. The silver bracelet sparkled there, winking at me, a light to slice through the dark that surrounded me. Just as Donnie had been my light.

"It's beautiful," I told him, though the simple word hardly did it justice. "I'll wear it forever." And I would. It would forever remind me of Donnie and the short, tragic love we had shared.

"I'm… uh… gonna… I'll never forget you, Alyssa Hamilton. I'll remember you until the day I die. And I don't think I'll ever love anyone half as much as I loved- love- you. Just because I'm letting you leave doesn't mean I'm letting you go."

They say that there is no harder word to say than goodbye. But I say that's bullshit. Goodbye is a perfectly simple word when you know that it's only for a little while.

Goodbye forever? That's another story.

I'd gone maybe half a block when I realized what a mistake I was about to make. I'd run away once before, and I'd had a good reason to. But this time, I was running out of fear. I don't really know what I was afraid of, but whatever it was, I knew that it wasn't worth losing Donnie over. Life was too short to live with regrets.

I sprinted back to the house and let myself in. The door was unlocked.

I shut it quietly behind me.

A second later I heard a quiet laugh from just beyond the shadows. "I left it open. I knew you'd come back."

I GRINNED WIDELY. Donnie reached out for my hand. "C'mon. Let's go to bed."

"Alyssa."

I spun around and saw the Fairy queen standing a few feet behind me in all her glory.

"Alyssa, the world is going to end."

I was in no mood for her riddles. "You've mentioned that," I muttered sarcastically.

She was unfazed. "Only you can save the world."

I was sick and tired of her games. I'd finally found a bit of happiness in my conscious reality, and she was still haunting my dreams.

"Look, I don't want to be a part of this," I told her harshly. "This isn't my problem."

For the first time since I'd dreamt of her, she allowed a tiny smile to creep onto her lips. "Alyssa, look at me. Don't you recognize who I am?"

So I did. I looked real hard, and I watched as the glitter and the magic fell away. And I screamed at what I saw in the magnificent queen's place.

Elizabeth Darko stood before me,, smiling her bright smile at me. "Save the world, Alyssa. Save me. You know what you have to do."

I tried to get to her or speak out or anything, but I was frozen in place, rendered speechless.

Then I was falling, falling through time and space and existence until I crashed into my own body, where I was laying on Donnie's bed, secured in his arms.

_Just a dream_, I thought frantically._ It was just a dream_.

Still, the thought was in my head now. What if I _could_ save Elizabeth? What if I could bring back my best friend? I could erase the permanent pain that had etched itself into Donnie's face. I could make things better.

I shook my head in a vain attempt to clear it. It was ridiculous. The world was not going end in- I glanced at the clock, strained to remember what the fairy- Elizabeth?- had said in my first dream. A glance at my nearly- forgotten wrist (the one opposite were Donnie's bracelet now hung) reminded me all too quickly.

The world was not going to end in two days. And there was nothing I could do to save Elizabeth or Donnie or myself.


	8. Chapter 8

-August 24, 1987- one day remains-

Donnie and I slept almost straight through the day, getting up only for brief periods to eat and spontaneously make out a little.

It was nearing two in the afternoon the next day when we officially got up. Mr. and Mrs. Darko let us be; probably assuming we were still grieving. Which, don't get me wrong, we were. But I think Donnie had already begun to accept that death was a part of life. He would miss her, naturally, but he knew that Elizabeth wouldn't have wanted him to sulk about. He said that my presence made things easier.

There was a constant somber tone that day, and despite how much I loved the Darkos, I found myself longing to escape.

I passed Rose once on my way down the stairs. I found it nearly impossible to look at her. She'd been crying for two days straight. She'd taken to sleeping in Elizabeth's room, coming out only when absolutely necessary.

Turning my gaze downward, I pressed onward to the kitchen. As I knew I would, I found Donnie there, picking at a bowl of bright green grapes. Hesitantly I went to stand across from him, the island between us. It felt more an entire universe.

"Talk to me," I said quietly. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Donnie let out a great sigh. "I dunno. I just… I miss her, you know? Me and Elizabeth were really close. She was like my best friend. I guess I never thought I'd lose her."

I went around the counter and put my arms around him from behind. "You haven't lost her," I whispered in his ear. "She lives on within you. Your memories keep her alive."

Donnie dropped his grape into the bowl and spun around to face me. "I've seen the Lion King, thank you very much," he teased. "And I know you're right. It's still hard, though. I'd give anything in the world just to see her again."

If you've ever had an out of body experience you'll understand what I' m about to say. It was almost as though someone else had stepped inside of me and controlled the next words that left my lips. All of a sudden their feelings, emotions, thoughts became mine.

And everything the fairy queen had said fell into place. It all made sense.

I knew what I had to do.

I sighed, leaning my head closer into Donnie's chest. Here I felt warm and secure. I was safe from the threats of life. I was damaged already.

But the thing about damaged people is that we know we can survive. It makes us a lot more likely to do dangerous things.

I tilted back my head, kissing Donnie softly upon the lips. "What if… what if there was a way to bring Elizabeth back?" I whispered. I couldn't stop my voice from breaking under the weight of the emotion my words bore.

Donnie frowned down at me. Fear and confusion glimmered in his blue eyes.

But there was something else there as well. There was some hope.

"That's impossible,' he said hesitantly. His own voice was still maddeningly filled with despair. It only made it all that much clearer.

I shook my head a little. "Tonight," I told him. "Tonight I will explain everything to you."

If Donnie was unnerved in the least, he did a good job of containing it. "I know just the place,' he said. To my surprise he even allowed a tight smile. "We'll leave at twilight."

I don't know why I did it.

Maybe it was because I knew it was almost over. But just before I was about to leave, I shed my clothes and slipped into the dress Elizabeth had bought me.

I wished she was there. I longed for her to brush up my curls and brush some powder across my cheeks. Or at the very least to see me and tell me I look beautiful even though I knew it was a lie. I looked like a scrawny little runaway who had donned a rich kid's clothes.

But she wasn't. She was gone.

She was dead.

I didn't bring anything with me- well, except the bracelet from Donnie, which hadn't left my wrist anyway. Then I descended the stairs for the last time.

When I saw Donnie waiting at the bottom of the stairs, leaning against the wall by the white front door, I couldn't stop a few stray tears from spilling over. I forced away. The last thing I needed was for Donnie to see me crying.

His wistful smile made my heart ache in my chest. Oh, how I longed for a full-blown smile to grace his lips once again. It nothing else, then I hoped I would at least get to see him smile again before I left him forever.

Donnie reached out to take my hand. His own was warm around mine, sending chills up my spine. "You look beautiful," he whispered.

Together we walked out the door and into the darkness of the night beyond. The stars were out in full, creating a guiding light in absence of the moon, which was at the peak of its wane. I trailed behind Donnie, letting him pull me along wherever he would.

Only once did I dare to ask where we were going, and Donnie's only reply had been a hushing noise, and so the rest of the walk had been carried out in silence.

When at long last we came to a stop I let out an audible gasp.

There before us stood the abandoned house, the one from my dream of the fairy queen.

The one that had burned down.

Impulsively I shook my head. "This house… Didn't it burn down?"

Donnie looked at me as though I was an animal in a cage. "No… this house has been here for over a hundred years. It's just been abandoned for about five."

I silenced anything I could have possibly said, told myself it had all been a dream. Clearly the house hadn't burned down. It must have been a dream.

But I knew that it was lie. I had seen myself the news. This house had burnt to the ground.

Donnie led me forward into the house, our hands still interlocked, fingers still woven together. The silence that filled the air sent shivers down my spine, broken only by the echoing of our footsteps.

Predictably, the steps creaked as we ascended into the house. Then Donnie pulled open the door, and together we stepped inside.

The house itself was almost beautiful, and certainly captivating. Except for needing an exceedingly decent cleaning, it was actually in half-way decent shape. The walls of the foyer were painted a deep burgundy that reminded me of blood; the floors were walnut. The smoothness of the wood had been worn away by dozens of feet traipsing across it.

"I used to sneak in here to draw," Donnie told me. "Because I could just feel it, you know? I could feel the madness and chaos moving though the air. That made it all the more enchanting."

I nodded numbly. Most of my fears had subsided, though of course I could still feel them in the pit of my stomach, twisting and turning.

Donnie's hands suddenly upon my waist caused me to jump a little, spinning around to face him. So perfect, so beautiful. both things I would never be, no matter what clothes of Elizabeth's I slipped into.

"What was it you wanted to tell me?" Donnie asked quietly. Fire was ablaze between us.

I sighed a little, turning my head to the side so that my loose brown hair formed a veil, shielding me from Donnie's eyes. Where to begin, even?

"Donnie…I, uh… look, there's something wrong with me." There. Bluntness. There was little point in beating around the bush or sugarcoating it.

Donnie was quiet for a moment, contemplative. When he did speak, his words were low. "There's something wrong with all of us," he replied. There's certainly something wrong with me. But love isn't about finding someone perfect. It's about over-looking the imperfections."

I smiled up at him, but it faded quickly. Love didn't exist, not really. And Donnie deserved better.

In one quick breath, I told him everything that he should have known right from the beginning, before we fell into this tangled mess of lies and love and everything in between.

Donnie listened without really showing that he was listening. His eyes were always elsewhere. His face was expressionless.

At long last, he spoke. "You're saying that because of this dream you had, you thing that the world is going to end tomorrow?"

All my hopes that he would believe me or at the very least understand came crashing down. I should have known that he wouldn't. now he really did believe that there was something wrong with me.

"She told me I had to stop it," I whispered. "And I think I know how."

"How?"

I didn't respond to that, for speaking the words would finalize them. Instead I stepped forward, stood up on my toes, and pressed my lips to his. This one last kiss was long and slow and sweet. Every part of my body craved more as I pressed myself closer and closer to him, until I was certain we couldn't have been any closer without moving through each other.

Donnie lowered me to the floor gently, carefully, all without breaking our kiss. And then it was all a blur, moving and touching, and the only thing I was aware of was Donnie's hands upon me and the warm tears falling down my pale cheeks, glistening like diamonds as they dripped onto the floor, creating tiny rivulets through the dust.

There would be no passionate pleasure, no aggressive waves of ecstasy. No, each touch, each breath was laced with mourning, with whispering pain and love all entwined.

After, I fell asleep in his arms, and when I awoke my cheeks were still damp with tears. The sun was streaking through the uncovered window at the far end of the room.

Sun?

Shit.

I removed myself from Donnie's grasp and went to find a clock. I wound up in the kitchen, where the clock above the stove read 5:13 am.


	9. Chapter 9

-August 24, 1987- seventeen minutes remain-

What would you do if you only had an hour left to live?

What would you do if you only had seventeen minutes?

Back in the living room, I knelt down beside Donnie and gently shook him awake. It was painful to do it; he looked so beautifully peaceful in his sleep. The world in which we lived held no peace, and it hurt me to take that away from him.

When at least he was awake, he pulled me down to him and kissed me gently. There was a despondent, melancholy tone to every move he made. Perhaps the creatures that roamed his dreamland had made him understand what was happening, even if he didn't fully know why.

"Donnie," I murmured, "There isn't much time left."

He sighed, perfectly motionless, his clear blue eyes burning into mine. "It doesn't have to be this way," he told me softly. "You don't have to leave me."

The tears were back, threatening to spill over, feeling too strong to express as mere words breaking free from their confinement and sparing me their misery.

"We both know that's not true," I said. My voice cracked on the last word. There was little point in breaking down, I knew. Besides, when you're given something as magical as the time I'd had with Donnie, there was no justification for clinging to it when it was time t let it go. There was a time to let go of everything. Donnie's had come.

Donnie adverted his gaze to the window. Time stretched on before us; I could practically see the end of it, barreling down upon me.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked in an achingly broken voice.

I hadn't put much thought into it, honestly- but then again, the average person doesn't put much thought into their choice form of death.

-I cringed at the finality of it.-

"Fire," I said finally. "Burn the house down."

Donnie didn't move, didn't make any motion to show that he'd heard me.

Our final moments together were spent in silence, at opposite sides of the room. But it was a comfortable sort of silence, one that was so filled with emotion it made up for it.

Then at long last I stood up and I went to stand beside him. he looked up at me from under his lashes.

"I suppose it'd be a waste of breath to try to talk you out of it." It wasn't a question.

I nodded numbly, giving him a tiny smirk. "I'd rather you waste that breath kissing me."

He rose as well, and in a moment was doing just that. When he broke away, he was holding a packet of matches in his hand, the packet he always carried on him, for some reason or another. And then he turned towards the door in one swift turn, never looking back or telling me goodbye, or that he loved me. And I did not speak as I watched him go.


	10. Chapter 10

Donnie's p.o.v…

-August 24, 1987- one minute remains-

They say that there is no harder word to say than goodbye. But I say that's bullshit. Goodbye is a perfectly simple word when you know that it's only for a little while.

Goodbye forever? That's another story.

I stood in front of the house with the packet of matches in my hand, turning them over and over.

Striking the first one was the hardest thing I had ever done.

When the pack was empty, I threw it on the ground and walked away.

The world seemed to be surreal as I moved down the vacated streets towards my house. My mind was still with Alyssa, still in that house. I was still hoping (In vain, of course) that I would wake up and this would all be some perverse nightmare.

When I got to my house I went straight up the stairs and crawled into bed. Sleep would be the only way to stop this madness, this spiraling web of thoughts and memories and pains that were streaking through my brain at hydro-speed.

I crashed into unconsciousness immediately. It was almost frighteningly easy.

-August 13, 1987-

The sun was blindingly bright when I awoke. The clock beside my bed read nine-something. My head was pounding.

I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, trying to make sense of the disorientation I was experiencing. My heart was racing much too fast, considering I had just woken up.

Ignoring the nauseous feelings rising up in me, I rose from my bed and trudged out of my room.

Madness is a funny thing, though insatiably tantalizing. It pulls and pulls us in, drowning us in the black abyss of chaos. It's positively delicious, and impossible to escape. To some degree, everyone is a little mad.

Insanity, on the other hand, is merely a higher, deeper, more complex level of intelligence that the simplistic human mind cannot comprehend.

Someday I would be called mad. Someday I would be called insane.

And maybe I was. Maybe I was.

Elizabeth was in the living room, yelling at the television as usual. Damn politics always got her riled up. I myself couldn't have cared less.

"What's up?" she asked when she saw me. I shrugged her question off, plopping onto the couch beside her. "Sleep well?" she pressed on.

I knit my brows as I thought back to the previous night. I don't believe I had ever slept that deeply.

At last, I spoke. "I had this dream… it was…"

"…In more local news, an unexplainable fire broke out last night, completely destroying a house and everything in it."

My words were cut off by the television as the voice of the reporter sliced through my concentration. My pale blue eyes flickered to the screen.

I recognized the house instantly. It had been abandoned for some time, but it had been one of my favorite places to draw. There was something there, some unseen force that moved and pulled and then vanished, leaving the rest of the godforsaken world behind.

"Firefighters say that the house was abandoned and that no human remains were found. Police have not ruled out arson as the start of the fire. The arsonist would be facing fines of up to three thousand dollars and possibly some jail time. I'm Jessie baker, reporting live."

I snorted in laughter. "You'd have to be pretty fucked up to burn down a house for no reason whatsoever."

Elizabeth shrugged. "Huh. Guess there are some crazy people loose in Middlesex." She looked over at me and we both started to laugh.

Mad world we were living in.

I stood up and headed into the kitchen to get something to drink. For one reason or another I couldn't get the images of that house out of my head. I could laugh all I wanted but something about it scared me. _disturbed _me.

Whatever. It wasn't my problem.

I pulled out a glass and filled it to the top with water, chugging it down in a single sip. When the cup was in the sink, I reached down to dry my hands on my pants.

I think now that subconsciously I knew it was there even before I felt it. With a frown of utter confusion, I reached down into my pocket, extracting the smooth silver bracelet.

And I knew, but I didn't know. And I remembered, but I didn't remember. And there was something that felt so right in that moment that I knew was wrong.

I did not know where the bracelet had come from. I did not know what led the police to my front door the very next day, claiming that I had been the one to burn down the house. And I never, _never_ remembered the name Alyssa Hamilton.

At least, not in the conscious, sane part of my mind. But insanity is merely a higher, deeper, more complex level of intelligence that the simplistic human mind cannot comprehend.

Someday they would call me insane. And maybe I was.


End file.
